T.S. Eli­ot: The Naming of Cats

The Naming of Cats is a dif­fi­cult matter,

It isn’t just one of your holi­day games;

You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter

When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there’s the name that the fami­ly use daily,

Such as Peter, Augus­tus, Alon­zo or James,

Such as Vic­tor or Jona­than, Geor­ge or Bill Bailey

All of them sen­si­ble ever­y­day names.

The­re are fan­cier names if you think they sound sweeter,

Some for the gen­tle­men, some for the dames:

Such as Pla­to, Adme­tus, Elec­tra, Demeter —

But all of them sen­si­ble ever­y­day names.

But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,

A name that’s pecu­li­ar, and more dignified,

Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,

Or spread out his whis­kers, or che­rish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

Such as Mun­kus­trap, Qua­xo, or Coricopat,

Such as Bom­balu­ri­na, or else Jellylorum —

Names that never belong to more than one cat.

But abo­ve and bey­ond there’s still one name left over,

And that is the name that you never will guess;

The name that no human rese­arch can discover

But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.

When you noti­ce a cat in pro­found meditation,

The reason, I tell you, is always the same:

His mind is enga­ged in a rapt contemplation

Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:

His ineffable effable

Effan­in­effable

Deep and ins­cruta­ble sin­gu­lar Name.